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As you are aware, that Pass, along with the Khyber, are the two main routes by which a land attack into India could be launched. Therefore, Her Majesty’s Government think it only prudent that the British Army should guard the Pass.’ The Prince gave a thin smile, ‘On what reports do you base these assumptions General?’ The General coughed again, and Major Barton replied, ‘The report came from no less a person than your own General, Sir.’ The Prince looked surprised, ‘The man you mentioned is not my General. He was stripped of his rank and imprisoned for treason for conspiring with the Afghans and Russians to attack this kingdom. Unfortunately, he escaped, along with several senior officers. Should they return to Kanda they will be executed.’ ‘So no one is in charge of guarding the Pass?’ Major Barton interjected . ‘On the contrary,’ the Prince replied, ‘I have a Colonel who is responsible for that duty. Actually, a former Officer in your command, General, and one whose. But no one would have dreamed of suing Ralph's, or Sam Marx personally. That would just spoil things for everyone else. Besides, shit happened.It was Friday night, the big night, and Ralph's was packed. The warm-up act was a pair of local bullies who were pounding the shit out of each other, but the crowd didn't need much warming up. When the ring announcer introduced the Midnight Midgets and the four little men ran down the aisle and clambered into the ring, the cheers were deafening.Then the midgets did their standard opening, running crazily all around the ring, vaulting over one another, sometimes colliding, always in motion. One attached a choke collar and leash to another, who scampered around on his hands and knees and then raised a leg and pretended to piss on the announcer's trousers.The midgets wore black boots, black mesh tops and black jockstraps with shiny black codpieces. They were misshapen, ugly and irrepressible. Octavius was the leader, or at least he was supposed.
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